The Beginning of The End.

ATTENTION: Entertainment Weakey will be ending its 2 and-a-half year run next week. Thanks for all of those who have embraced us, and god fucking bless you.

Hi peepsie-doozles. Believe me this aint easy. I want to start by saying how much everything you guys have done for me is and has meant to me and all of us really and what it has done to be it all for what it is. That said:

I have been sentenced to a week's house arrest for aggrevated assault, and I am prohibited from using the internet for two years, due to my aforementioned legal situation.

Here is a picture from Richie's benefit, taken but a few months before he died.

-Chadley Quince Bebay III.

(stay tuned for an Entertainment Weakey retrospective)

I'm Fucked..../ New Virus Market Poster

Last night I got arrested. It was so stupid and now I really see how dumb it was.
My cousin Brad has tormented me online, and even used my password to mess up my movie news blog.
I rammed into his car with my Grandmas old F-150, just wanted to dent it up a little for all his constant torture. It was parked in his parents drivway, not far from me.
Anyway, his best friend Beef was asleep in the backseat, and he got hurt.
They think broke his coccyx, so anyway he woke up and saw me drive away and told Brad's parents, my Aunt Debbie and Uncle Mike,
and they called the cops.
So, I got arrested and spent the night in central booking. My court date is July 17th. So far I was charged with aggravated assault, reckless endangerment, and maybe more charges to come.
I really hope I don't miss TDK premier.
Speaking of, here is the new poster, revealed via whyyouserious.com:











-Chadley

Introducing Pete Landelli, our new Correspondant!!

Sorry about all the ugliness earlier. For those who don't know, my cousin Brad Gorman hacked into the page and almost ruined it. I have left those changes on the site. For one, I haven't figured out how to change them back, and for two I think everyone should see just what he did.

Brad used to publish posts using my username and password, for Brad's Picks. After a heated online discussion he announced to all that he had used his knowledge of the site to destroy it. If not for Pete Landelli of Brooklyn, also known as Lando667, I would have lost Weakey forever. Lando667 posed as a Weakey hater in order to gain Brad's trust, and in the process obtained the new password to Weakey

that Brad had changed. No longer was Weakey held for ransom. For this act of kindness, I have offered mister Peter Landelli a job as co-editor-in-chief of this publication.

(Remember Brad Gorman, you will rot in hell for what you did. I will fucking get you, you little piggy.)

-Chadley Quince Bebay

ENTERTAINMENT WEAKEY SUCKS!!!!

Brad Gorman here.... I hacked my lame cousins page to tell you all about him and how gay he is.

CHADLEY IS A FAG!!! CHADLEY IS A FAG!!! CHADLEY IS A FAG!!! CHADLEY IS A FAG!!! CHADLEY IS A FAG!!! CHADLEY IS A FAG!!!
CHADLEY IS A FAG!!! CHADLEY IS A FAG!!!
CHADLEY IS A FAG!!! CHADLEY IS A FAG!!! CHADLEY IS A FAG!!!
CHADLEY IS A FAG!!! CHADLEY IS A FAG!!!
CHADLEY IS A FAG!!! CHADLEY IS A FAG!!!
CHADLEY IS A FAG!!!
CHADLEY IS A FAG!!! CHADLEY IS A FAG!!!
CHADLEY IS A FAG!!! CHADLEY IS A FAG!!!
CHADLEY IS A FAG!!! CHADLEY IS A FAG!!!
CHADLEY IS A FAG!!!
CHADLEY IS A FAG!!!
CHADLEY IS A FAG!!! CHADLEY IS A FAG!!!
CHADLEY IS A FAG!!!
CHADLEY IS A FAG!!!
CHADLEY IS A FAG!!! CHADLEY IS A FAG!!!
CHADLEY IS A FAG!!!
CHADLEY IS A FAG!!!
CHADLEY IS A FAG!!! CHADLEY IS A FAG!!!
CHADLEY IS A FAG!!!
CHADLEY IS A FAG!!!
CHADLEY IS A FAG!!! CHADLEY IS A FAG!!!
CHADLEY IS A FAG!!! CHADLEY IS A FAG!!!
CHADLEY IS A FAG!!! CHADLEY IS A FAG!!!
CHADLEY IS A FAG!!!
CHADLEY IS A FAG!!! CHADLEY IS A FAG!!!
CHADLEY IS A FAG!!!
CHADLEY IS A FAG!!! CHADLEY IS A FAG!!!
CHADLEY IS A FAG!!! CHADLEY IS A FAG!!!
CHADLEY IS A FAG!!! CHADLEY IS A FAG!!!
CHADLEY IS A FAG!!! CHADLEY IS A FAG!!!
CHADLEY IS A FAG!!!
CHADLEY IS A FAG!!! CHADLEY IS A FAG!!!
CHADLEY IS A FAG!!!
CHADLEY IS A FAG!!! CHADLEY IS A FAG!!!
CHADLEY IS A FAG!!! CHADLEY IS A FAG!!!
CHADLEY IS A FAG!!! CHADLEY IS A FAG!!!
CHADLEY IS A FAG!!! CHADLEY IS A FAG!!!
CHADLEY IS A FAG!!! CHADLEY IS A FAG!!!
CHADLEY IS A FAG!!!

The TDK Coaster contains Spoilers/ Brad Axed...

Werd up Peepios,
Chadley here. Brad Gorman, aka. Weakey columnist for 'Brads Picks' aka my bone-headed cousin, has been relieved of his duties here. He failed to make his Friday deadline, and his column was nixed. We are sorry for any Brad fans, doubtful as I may be about their existence.

In other, more relevant news, The TDK Coaster has opened for business at several Six Flaggs Theme Parks around the globe!!! The downside? The ride contains spoilers! Luckily, the ride has been updated for fans who want to be suprised by the films twists and turns, and riders will be warned of spoilers prior to entering those areas. Good thing, because I am taking Samantha to the 6 Flaggs in N.J. this weekend, and we are hitting up the TDK ride, no doubt!


I wanted to mention we are currently seeking new writers for E.W. and are now accepting complete resumes. Requirements include but are not restricted to: 2 years experience in print or online journalism, a B.A. in mass media, journalism, advertising or related field, complete portfolio of published works, letter of recommendation from the Dean of your Alma Mater signed in Ghoul's blood, a perfect score on the Wonderlic Test, and/or a masters in Political Science.
Keep Cool guys,
-Bebay

Brad's Picks 6/20/2008

Hey dudes and dudettes. Whats shaking? I am really fucking high right now. My boy Beef just got the hookup. Two puffs of this sensomelia and you fall asleep with your face in the cocoa puffs, baby.
Anyway, I am gonna make this quick, I am meeting this honey at the dining hall. We are gonna study for a test in Evolution 102, and then hopefully I'll fuck her pussy off. So anyway here's Brad's Picks for this week. Whatever I feel like watching this weekend.

1) Kung Fu Panda- I love these computer cartoon movies. Shit is so crazy. I like to roll a fat L and then go watch these fucking movies. Awesome.

2) The Love Guru- Holy shit, man. Michael Myers must smoke so much weed to come up with all his crazy characters! I heard this shit is so fucking funny. Also, I never miss a movie that has midget-me in it.

3) Don't You Mess with the Zohan, He'll blow you away- Long title, but it looks awesome. For my money there aint nothing funnier than making fun of Middle Eastern people, and this is a good weekend for that shit. I plan on getting high ten times before this.

Alright, whatever, seeya

-Brad G.

NEW JOKER CLIP!!!

Hey Peepees,
Chad "da man" Bebay here....
A new clip of the Joker has appeared on youtube.com. It is utterly chilling....
Link: http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=nIaLXE06Mp0

Apparently released via the Joker virus marketing page, this clip contains most of the clips we have heard in the trailer, although the lines seemed to be delivered in a different context, which has fans confused. Are these alternate takes of Heath? And there seems to be music from Batman Begins, not the mysterious "Joker theme" that Hans Zimmerman has been talking about.

The scene may in fact be some sort of broadcast to the people of Gotham, because the Joker seems to be address the camera directly.
From the video we can glean a lot about the character. He seems to live in a shabby, dorm-room like criminal lair, and is extremely vain (as evidenced by his pouty lips, sassy head nods, and come-hither stare.) He also appears to sport a beard under the makeup (yes, this video seems to finally dispel the rumors of perma-bleaching).
I don't mean to be a tough sell on Heath's Joker, but judging from this clip, the Joker is merely a high-school theater douche with some shit on his face. I hope there is more to come that will change my mind.
-Chadley Quince Bebay III

ehhhh....

Deschamps.....in!!!!

2-Face Revealed!!!

Holy Balls, People!!! Chadley Quince Bebay here. Thanks for all the kind words about Nana, its been a tough road. I never thought 2008 would see the death of the deaths of the two people I cared most about. Its really crazy. But if anything, its taught me to stay the course and see Entertainment Weakey through till the end...

Anyway, are you ready for this:

2-Face has been revealed... click for the video below. On the Joker virus market page there is new footage from Dark Night. Basically, the scene opens up in some kind of bar. The bartender has to go wee-pee so he tells the other old guy to like watch the bar or something. Then that other guy is like just hanging out in the bar. Oh, and the TV is on. So then we hear like a "Squeeeeek" and then the guys looks over and says something like "Need me to shake yer snake for ya, gayboy?" and then a dark figure steps into frame. The guys goes: "Dent?! WTF?! I thought you we dead!" and then the dark figure goes: "Not entirely..." in this gruesome, boiling horse-lard voice. It made my pee-chute quiver. Clip below:
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=0pK5HmuCMBM
-Chadley 2-face!!!

3rd Bat-Flick News!!!!

Werd up Peeparonis?!

Chadley "Da Man" Bebay here, back and feeling wonderful. We buried nana yesterday, and we all ate coldcuts and drank ginger ale afterwards. I got to play my cousins' Xbox live, and I may pick one up with my inheritance. Speaking of... Chadley now has a bachelor's pad. Nana's house is officially mine, and I alread got a widescreen TV. Speaking of, its giving me some trouble, anyone familiar with Pasamonics TVs?

Anyway, got some crazy scoop for ya from our faithful reader StephenKingRules667...

"Hey Chaz!! Whats up? How is everything? Sorry to hear about your Nana. Just think of it, she is hanging out with Champ in heaven right now. Any way I have exclusive info on the development of a third Bat-flick. It seems David Goyer is on board this time, at the request of Warners, and the film will likely focus on the inclusion of Crazy Quilt, a minor Bat-villian from the outlying areas of the Bat-iverse. Lets see what happens! If you print this, call me StephenKingRules667."

Thanks for the kind words man...

Keep yer peeps peeled guys and hope you enjoyed "Brads Picks"

-Chadley

Brad's Picks 7/13/08

Hey whats up dudes. My cuz Chadley talked me into helping him with this lame blog, since his boyfriend Richie died. jk. He was alright, kinda sad what happened. Anyway, we are all gonna miss "Champ" as I called him. The best thing about Richie is he had a shit-ton of old Penthouses' from his dad, who bit it in the 80's. Guy was a coke-head. Massive coronary. 

Anyway, this week and every Friday from now on, I am gonna take a minute out to give you Brad's Picks, basically whatever movies I feel like watching over the weekend.

1) Puppet Master (1980-something) Great flick. That little bastardwith the knife hands always gets me. Probably pick this up from Hollywood Video, provided the one down the block is still open by the time I finish this. Ha.

2) Incredible Hulk (Opening Tonight) No way am I missing HULK 2!!

This is the action packed Hulk feature we have been waiting for. None of that lame artsy shit. Just one big green motherfucker fucking shit up.  If all goes as planned my bro Jake is gonna meet his guy, and our shits gonna get fucked up by another 'green monster' if you catch my drift (puff puff! pass. wait. Puff Puff, get it?). Awesome.

 3) Its Happening- Probably go see this tomorrow. Finals are coming up so I will be studying

 all week. This is probably the last time I will get to see a movie for a while. Communications is a wic

ked tough major, bro. I loved Unbreakable. I mean Bruce Willis is the best superhero for my money. He didn't even have a supehero name or costume, ya know: subtle. I like that.

4) Friday the 13th: (All of em) I think anyone who doesn't watch the Friday the 13th movies on Friday the 13th is a real jerk-off. Come on people.  And none of that Spike TV marathon bullshit. They cut out all the tits.

5) Sex and the City: (Now) I know what you are thing... gay! Well, my girlfriend is dragging me along, true. But its far from gay. Not only are chicks way fucking horny after they watch that shit, but the show

 has tits all the time. So I am gonna be totally hard, too. Yeah nothing gay about a hard cock, my friends.

Alright, I paid my dues, y'all got a blog. Keep cool,

-Brad G.

Nana 1930-2008

My nana passed away Thursday. Thanks for all your support during this tough time.

My Indy 4 Review!!! New Columnist!!!

Hey peeps,

Sorry about the long absence. I think I kinda hit the ground running after Richie's death, and every now and then you just have to sit it out for a minute. So I took the week off of school and just watched some films. A lot of them were personal favorites of Richie's so I feel like it was a very cathartic week. The best part? I got a mysterious invitation to the new Indy film, which coincidental was Richie's most anticipated film behind Dark Knight, (which we erroneously printed as Dark Knights, sorry.) It hard to believe that we were both 1 when the 3rd one came out and now Richie is 0, because he doesn't age anymore. Anyway my grandma checked the mail on Thursday and lo and behold, someone had given me 2 tickets to an advance screening of Indiana Jones and the King of the Crystal Skulls. I was so excited to finally see Harrison Ford back in the Role of adventurer and high school teacher Davey "Indiana" Jones, after 20 years. So anyway, I didn't have anyone to go with me, so I am keeping the second ticket as a keepsake. To make a long story short, the movie was classic Indy. You have got to see this film.

So we have some really big news for you. I have talked my cousin Brad into helping out with the blog. He is a freshman at NYU and is a media major. He knows a lot about film and he will be an awesome addition to the family. Cant wait for his new column Brad's Picks, in which he picks his favs in movies, comic books, and even music sometimes. So keep your eyes peeled for this awesome new column! Awesome stuff to come guys!

-Chad

Benicio Del Toro to Direct Hobbits?

Hey Peeps 'N Peeps,

Wow, what a refreshing weekend. I spent most of the time on myspace.com. I just got a new profile there, and its a lot of fun. I know, I have said time and time again: I will never get a myspace account. And yet here I stand, humbled, humilated and apologizing for my hasty assesment of the social networking site

Anyway, there have been many rumors about The Hobbits, the Lord of the Rings reimagining which is supposed to be a sort of prequel and also combine the first 3. Its said to be guided more towards children as well. I personally didn't really understand the first 3 (such as why elves are tall) but I am looking forward to more Frodem, Aragorn, Gimmles, Gandolfini, and all of our favorite characters. Benicio Del Toro (pic. left) director of Hellboy, Hellboy 2, I think he did Spy Kids too, is rumored to be the first choice.

The thing about myspace I dont get is how you activate friends. I don't know if that is supposed to happen automatically, but its not working on my profile. I think I only have 6 friends or so, but a lot of people have tons of friends. Not sure....

Anyway, keep your peeps close and your peepers closer!!!
-Chad Quince B.

New X-Files Movie Details Emerge! SPOILERS!!!!

SPOILERS!!!!
Hey Peep-philes,
To quote a phrase with resounding impact in the Sci-Fi community, The Truth is Around Here Somewhere!! That's right...Its an exciting day X-Files fans as new details about the sequel emerge! Apparently Witwikipedia.org published exclusive details about what we now know to be called X-Files: The Motion Picture: Part II; Seeing is Believing. Our contact over at JoeDoe.com sent us this plot synapses:

Hey Weak-heads! Greetings from Internets (hahahah! I just love those funny names for the internet! Like interwebs, or intracom, or innerwebs.org!!! HAHAHAH! Fucking HA! Its funny because it feigns ignorance when we are all pretty savvy at by now: Interwebs! HAHAHA! Its even funnier when its unexpected. ) First off: We at JoeDoe.com were shocked and stunned to hear about the death of Richie. He was a great kid. Anyway this is Pete from JoeDoe.com and have I got the mother of all SPOILERS for you: the plot details of X-Files: The Motion Picture: Part 2; Seeing is Believing. Apparently the plot revolves around 2 FBI agents investigating paranormal phenomena in dismal Vancouver, BC. If you want to print this, the name's Pete.

WOW! The Details about this movie come from leaked information from the X-Files: The Motion Picture: Part II; Seeing is Believing official movie novelization: (pic left)

BTWay- That was a really special thing to say about Richie guys, and I know he appreciates it. Or he would, if he was still alive. Anyway, keep your pissers peeled open for new X-files scuttlebutt.





-Chadley Quince Bebay

Ironed Man Reviews Cum Squirting in!!!

Hey peeps-in-boots, Chadley here.

Weakey is slowly putting itself back together after our founder and my best friend Richie Deschamps succumb to Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia last month. The outpouring of support from the fans, we call them Weak-Heads, has been immense. Thanks so much and Weak On!

Richie will sadly miss Ironed Man, his second most anticpated summer blockbuster behind Dark Night. (By the way, does anyone know how to disable his profile on blogspot? I feel its creepy to let it linger.) Anyway, we got the first take on the Morton Downey Jr. Superhero flick from Jesus667 over at Hispanic Review sent us this bit of nut-fodder:

"Hey Whiteboys (edit: he doesn't realize Richie is dead, or that I am a third Puerto Rican-Chadley) I got this tasty little review of the new Ironed Man. You are gonna have to totally pleasure yourself when you see this flick. I mean you are gonna whip out your throbbing pecker and fucking grip it so fucking hard, violently tugging on that thick shit until you fucking shoot pearly ropes of baby-batter all over the fat loser in front of you at the theater. I suggest yanking it hard until the first signs of glistening precum starts to collect in your dickhole, then try and keep the tension until you see Ironed Man's first appearence, then as soon as you see him, flick your left nut really hard and release your chunky, gelatious dick-stew into your popcorn and then eat it."

From the sound of Jesus667, this is gonna be one messy movie. I cannot wait!!! I was invited to a test-screening tomorrow night, so I will post my review on Wednesday. Until then, keep your peeholes peeled.


-Chadley

Richie Memorial Fund / Ironed Man News/ Hulk Update/ Punisher Scuttlebutt

Hey e-poops, Its nice to finally get back on here. Since Richie passed away last week things have been really crazy. I have been helping Richie's family and all that. Well, his mom and I have decided to organize the Richie Deschamps Memorial Fund for the Arts, which we predict will do an awesome job of preserving his memory and put some back into the community, for a great cause! Look for an official announcement on Entertainment Weakey and please PR me if you wanna know where to send donations. You guys are really awesome and I can't wait to hear from you. By the way... I heard from Richie's Mom that his last moments were spent lamenting over the fact that he would not get to see Dark Night. I thought this, while tragic, was so indicitive of Richie's passion for movies. He will be missed.

Alright, now that thats out of the way, on with the news-

Ironed Man is going fullsteam ahead, no pun intended, and we are really excited. Well, I am really excited. Still weird to be doing this alone. Hmmm... Anyway, look for this exciting flick to flack your fluck from here to there and back again baaaaaby!

The Hulk Crush Summer Competiton! Ha! I just love speaking in that broken "Hulk-Talk", its really just so funny. Anyway, we got Ed Norman as Bryce Banner, and he has vowed to give us the ultimate Hulk movie. I can't wait. I hope that they make him even bigger, greener, and more CGI'd then the original.

You've been a bad l'il mutherfucker. Prepare to get Punished, by... the Punisher! He swings into theaters this summer, flying over the competiton, and swooping from rooftops, landing all over the competion, crushing them with the force that can only come from dropping from a high place, right? Get it? He is swinging and swooping and flying and stuff.

Anyway, looks like Marvin Comics will pawn the competition this summer. I cannot wait.

-Chadley BeBay

Richie Deschamps 1987-2008

It is with great sadness that I must inform you of the untimely departure of Entertainment Weakey creator Richard Deschamps from our world. He was a bright and shining star and will be dearly missed. He bravely fought for his life, and he was loved. I love you man, and this blog showed me how one man can touch greatness, and I will not let you down. I will take the reigns, sweet Richie, and as they say in Showbiz...

The Show Must Go On!

In other news, the Dark Nights super-marketing campaign is really heating up! Harvey Dee Williams is running for congress, the Joker is doing something on his website, and there are many Gotham Bugle Entries. Keep an eye on those websites!!!

Alright peeps, more news to come after Richies funeral.

Email me for information on the where and when.

-Chadley

Eckhart Thinks About the Future...Prince Rumors...The Dark Knights Coaster!!!

Erin Eckhart is the center of attention now that Heath Ledger has passed into the wind. Lets face it, Erin is awesome, or should I say, SPOILERS: Let's Two-Face it, Erin is awesome. Anyway, Erin just did an interview describing his role as SPOILERS: Two-Face. Here's a little tid-bittie of what he had to say:

"I am not the comic book type, as you may have gathered from my respectable roles in that cooking movie, and Thanks For Not Smoking, but when Marc Bolan approached me about the role of SPOILERS: Two Face, I couldn't resist. This aint your grandaddy's SPOILERS: Two-Face, but rather a younger, hipper, and absolutely sexy Harvey Dent/SPOILERS: Two-Face. I hope I will be back for future installments, hence the headline Eckhart thinks about the future"

Well, there ya go guys! Sounds like Erin is taking this role very seriously. And that's what we need from SPOILERS: Two-Face, one serious motherfucker. Or should I say SPOILERS: Two serious motherfuckers.

In other news, as Dark Knights approaches its July release, more news on the soundtrack pours in. One question remains: Will Prince be back? Our source says yes:

"Hey Weak-heads, I got some super-scoop about Prince doin' the soundtrack. I found this production still which shows Prince reembodying SPOILERS: Two-Face, Joker, and Batman in what looks like a music video. My friend close to the production told me this for a brand new song called 2 Happy 2 Cry, 2Sad 2 Face U . If you publish this, please call me The Artist Formerly Known as Dr. Boobs. "

Holy shit-dick this is an amazing week for Dark Knights news, and for Entertainment Weakey since we also have this exclusive photo of the new Dark Knights ride: SPOILERS BELOW:

Keep your peeps close but your peepers closer!
-Chadley Quince BeBay

EW goes to TV!!! Two Face Revealed!!! And Thanks from Weakey!!!

Hey peepadactyls!!! Chadley here. A lot of crazy news! First of all... We were able to raise $44,600.00 for Richie Deschamps's blood transfusion. As you may know, Richie contracted a rare blood disease and needs money for a transfusion, or he may not make it until summer. Luckily we are on the right track and it looks like Richie will pull through just fine. At right is a picture of the kick-ass fund raiser we had last Friday.
ALSO- Entertainment Weakey has just signed a contract to produce short video news segments featuring Chad and Richie commenting on all the latest news!!! Fuck, this is gonna be huge folks!!! We are taping now, and it will be online soon.
In other news... In movie news, (thats what we are all here for right?) TWO FACE HAS BEEN REVEALED! We all know that Dark Knights is finally going to be released after being effectively derailed by the Director's Strike. What we haven't seen until now is a picture of Two-Face, the maniacal villian set to make a camero in Dark Knights. Well, a scooper sent us this exclusive pic of the Two-Face action figure as he appears in new flick. Its a little blurry but you get the point:

Alright forks, keep yer peepers peepin, and we'll see ya on TV soon!

-Chad

Indy's Teaser Releases All Over the Place!!!

Hey Peepadoodles! Chad here,
Remember that Richie's benefit is tomorrow night at Fortuna's in the lower east section of NYC. The celebration starts at eight and will feature Garbage War Kids, Tokyo Police Cops, The Barons, and Cat Pooter. Its gonna be huge, and word is TWZ.com may send a correspondent so I may be moving up in the showbiz jounalism pretty soon, folks!! But really this all about Richie and his blood tranfusion. And its about a human life. Richie is going through a potentially fatal health crisis right now. He needs the fans to finally give back. 50 dollars at the door.
Anyway, today is not only Saint Valentine's it all marks the release of the Indian Jones and the Crystal Skull King teaser trailer. I am really looking forward to seeing Shia Laboof as a younger, hipper, and frankly sexier Mr. Jones. I can't wait. And we all know I have been rooting for the "Goodfella 3" style ending where India Jones laments over a life of crime and maybe even gives all those pricelss objects to the Smithoseum....Naawwwww! that AINT Indy!!!!
Anyway here the new trailer features Shia Laboof fighting with what appears to be an evil version of himself, we see older India swing by his signature cat o' nine tails into a moving SUV then proclaiming "I thought I was younger!!!" Anyway the trailer is amazing and even hints at an alien conspiracy (we see crates that are clearly marked ROSEBUD, a reference to the famous alleged UFO crash in Rosebud NJ.) This flick is gonna have it all and I cannot wait!!! Oh Shit! What the fuck am I gonna do until then?!?! I'm gonna cut myself.... HA HA HA!! I'M A-GONNA CUT my selff!!! AHHH HA HA HA HA!!!!
Well here is the link to the new trailer....enjoy and keep your eyes peeled!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=vpNwpJfQaEQ

-Chadley Q. Bebay

PS- Seeya at the Richie Benefit

Benefit for Richie

Hello Guys.
Chad here. It looks like the bad news keeps rolling in. First Heath Legend dies, now Richie has been striken with illness. We have our share of critics, as does everything worth reading, and their has been a small but very vocal group dedicated to spreading lies and hate about Richie and this blog. I know, people can be very cruel. We call them message board gnomes. All they do is gnome around and try and cyber-bully people. Anyway, we have put together a benefit to help him raise money for his blood transfusion. I need you guys for this one. He may not survive the year if we don't all help. Richie Deschamps has done a lot for everyone, including me. I would not be on the fast track to being a pullitser prize winning journalist without his help. Its time for you guys to give a little back. Its gonna be held in NYC, probably Brooklyn and hopefully very soon. Keep checking for more details. And thanks to everyone for the outpouring of support.

-Chad

Correction

CORRECTION: HEATH LEDGER REALLY IS DEAD.
I come to you humbled, foot firmly in mouth, to apologize for what can only be described as poor jounalism. We all strive to do our best to report quickly and accurately here at EW. Everyone makes mistakes, and this time I made a doozy. Heath Ledger is actually dead. I was wrong and I apologize to all the people that emailed me exclaiming their joy that he is still alive. That is not the case. Mark my words, this is the last bit of inaccurate reporting you will ever hear from this reporter.
-Chad

Heath Ledger is Fine Folks!!!

Wow, some people believe everything they read. Jeez. Okay peeps, this is in response to the huge influx of emails I have gotten. Seriously folks, you gotta pull yer heads out of your asses. Heath Ledger dead? Oh boy. I guess I gotta spoonfeed you idiots. Heath Ledger is fine! No, he didn't die. Its some cruel internet prank, or viral marketing. Trust me, if Heath Ledger really died, you'd know it. It wouldn't be a matter of conjecture. It would be all over the place. In fact, I just saw him on the SAG awards last night, and he was sporting a stately beard. Anyway, you can relax now. Heath is fine... jesus. Gullible internet geeks, I tell ya. You will be laughing your pants off about this in a week, trust me.

-Chadley

Bond part 24 Gets a Title

Hey peepsmears!

Chaz here, whuzzup!? I heard the new Bond flick has gotten a new title, which is really awesome. My favorite thing to do between the 2 to 8 year gaps between Bond movies is to either imagine what the new title will be and then think of a story based on that hypothetical title OR after I have heard what the new title of the forthcoming Bond movie is, I then try to come up with a story in my head that goes with the title, often ammending it as new casting and plot news comes in. This news of the new title comes via our favorite scooper who likes to go by HammeroftheMods667:

"Heads up douchebags, the announced the name of the new Bond flick. Its based on Ian Andersen's first Bond novel of the same title. If you don't post this, you straight clownin'"

Great! Thanks Hammer! The title is quite a departure from the normal "Odd Statement that is Slightly Off" formula for a Bond title. Anyway, I for one am thrilled, and right now I am picturing what kind of a crazy plot would befit this fascinating title. As you know Daniel Fergusen will reprise his role of Bond in the latest installment, due in theaters this summer.

-Chaz B.

Slow Week For Batman News

Hey peeparinos! Chadley here. I thought I would take a minute out of my busy day to comment on the lack of news pertaining to Universal's Batman prequel Dark Knights. For the last few months it seems like everyday a new virus marketing page would pop up, or there would be a scavenger hunt, or something like that. But this week there hasn't been a peep from the studio which makes me wonder if something big is coming. I really think a huge story would push anticipation for this film into the stratosphere. Like some massivley important story that would bring even more attention to this film and its stars. Could it be that this uncharacteristically silent week for Dark Knights mean that any day now a huge story will break? Not sure. Anyway, what can ya do?

-Chadley

January Movie Rundown!

Greetings fans! Richie Deschamps here. In case you were unaware, or aren't one my many followers (I like to call you guys Weaksters), January is my favorite month for movies. After the garbage that comes our way in December, January is the one month out of the year where we can rely on some quality film making. Not to mention the month when Anthony Anderson comes out from under his rock and stars in some timeless classics!

Here's a list of January releases I just can't wait for! Keep in mind, I'm writing this at 4am and I can barely keep my eyes open, let alone get through "Barracuda" on Guitar Hero. Without further ado...

5) Rambo 5 - If you're not excited about this movie, you don't deserve to live. Seriously, go fuck yourself. Nah, just kidding! From what I understand, this film explores the origins of the World War II vet, beginning with his childhood. Apparently John Rambo liked to squish frogs and torture rabbits as a child. I read on rambo-on-film.net that about 90 minutes of the film is just this. Then there's like, a 15 minute war scene, or something. Whatever, just go see it.

7) Cloverfarm - The much anticipated monster movie from producer JJ Walker is almost here people! Little is known about this American remake of Godzilla, but one thing is for sure, it's gonna make me poop my panties! Be sure to watch closely for cameos from Matthew Broderick, Harry Shearer and Hank Azaria. Oh wait, that was Godzilla. Nevermind, fuck this movie.

12) First Sunday - What do you get when you put Ice-T, Tracy Morgan, and some black dude in a movie together? Comedy gold! I've seen the bus ads everywhere for this movie, and we all know that means it's gonna be a bonafide classic. I have no idea what this movie is about, but if Ice-T is in it, there's one thing that's guaranteed. He's gonna release a hit single that coincides with the release! GO SEE THIS FILM OR I WILL KILL YOU.

Ok, well I think I hear my Grandma cooking bacon, so I better go downstairs and eat. Be sure to check out these movies, or at least download them from Limewire.

Deschamps...out!!!