January Movie Rundown!

Greetings fans! Richie Deschamps here. In case you were unaware, or aren't one my many followers (I like to call you guys Weaksters), January is my favorite month for movies. After the garbage that comes our way in December, January is the one month out of the year where we can rely on some quality film making. Not to mention the month when Anthony Anderson comes out from under his rock and stars in some timeless classics!

Here's a list of January releases I just can't wait for! Keep in mind, I'm writing this at 4am and I can barely keep my eyes open, let alone get through "Barracuda" on Guitar Hero. Without further ado...

5) Rambo 5 - If you're not excited about this movie, you don't deserve to live. Seriously, go fuck yourself. Nah, just kidding! From what I understand, this film explores the origins of the World War II vet, beginning with his childhood. Apparently John Rambo liked to squish frogs and torture rabbits as a child. I read on rambo-on-film.net that about 90 minutes of the film is just this. Then there's like, a 15 minute war scene, or something. Whatever, just go see it.

7) Cloverfarm - The much anticipated monster movie from producer JJ Walker is almost here people! Little is known about this American remake of Godzilla, but one thing is for sure, it's gonna make me poop my panties! Be sure to watch closely for cameos from Matthew Broderick, Harry Shearer and Hank Azaria. Oh wait, that was Godzilla. Nevermind, fuck this movie.

12) First Sunday - What do you get when you put Ice-T, Tracy Morgan, and some black dude in a movie together? Comedy gold! I've seen the bus ads everywhere for this movie, and we all know that means it's gonna be a bonafide classic. I have no idea what this movie is about, but if Ice-T is in it, there's one thing that's guaranteed. He's gonna release a hit single that coincides with the release! GO SEE THIS FILM OR I WILL KILL YOU.

Ok, well I think I hear my Grandma cooking bacon, so I better go downstairs and eat. Be sure to check out these movies, or at least download them from Limewire.

Deschamps...out!!!