Hey peepasaures rexes! Chadley Q. BeBay III Esq. here with more accurate up to the minute Hollywood movie news, gossip, rumors, and.. HYUHCK! Oooff! HOOOOGH! Sorry something was caught in my throat. Moving on... Last summer Entertainment Weakey broke news that J.J. Walker was indeed remaking / re-envisioning / prequeling / sequeling the Star Trek franchise here with a sexy new take on the mythos, to be titled Star Trek X. But now things are really heating up. Our friends over at Aintitnews.cool tipped us off to this little thimble's worth of new rumors. This is what Mortondowny sent me:"Hey Richie and Chad! Werd up, faggotz? Well anyway, I just heard that there is a love scene that is causing some serious hard-on action in the new Star Trek sequel. Are you ready for this? Apparently there is a sloppy sex scene between...wait for it.... Spork....and OLDER SPORK!!! Yes the older Spork visits younger Spork, and well Sporks fly! tee-hee hee hee hee!!!!! No seriously. But don't expect to see any pearly cum-globules, however. The Romulan mating ritual is quite reserved, and Earth audiences might not even be aware that its anything more than hands touching. If you print this call me Mortondowney. If you don't print it, I will rub your asshole with number 4 sandpaper."
So there you have it. Star Trek fans are going absolutely mad as news about this younger, hippier and downright sexier Trek pours in. While I am certain Walker has a thrill ride of universal proportion (ha ha ha! get it? universal? Its cuz this takes place in the universe) I am a little worried about the casting. Yes Shia Laborf is a captivating young actor, but is he Bones? Anyway keep you eyes and the road, but above all peeled.-C.B.
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