RIDDLER REVEALED!!!

WHAZ-UP PERPETRATORS!!!

Whoo! Chadley Q. Bebay here, refreshed and ready for action after a wonderful Thanksgiving vacation. When I got back from Nana's I was greeted with tons of new infectious marketing websites for the newest, potentially greatest installment of the Batman franchise, The Black Knight. Infectious websites have popped up everywhere! Some notables: MetropolisPolice.com, Whyyousoserious.com, Batman-Up-Jett's-Ass.com, 1-18-08.com, and my personal fav RememberingVagina.com. The kicker? Emperor Magazine/Hecamehesawhekickedsomeass.com which slowly gave us this, the first reveal of the Riddler:

There is strong debate whether the Riddler will have a permanent mask or if it will be removable. According the the comic organ, the Riddler is dropped in to a square container of biological waste, permanently afiixing his green domino mask to his face. Marc Bolan, director of of Black Knight, has stated he wants his Riddler to be "More realistic, cunning, and absolutely sexy..." The removable mask certainly is more realistic, but I am not sure. I guess I will have to trust Bolan, who won me over with Batman: Beginnings. I have no reason to doubt his genius. Fans have also butted butts over the casting of Heath "Broken Back Mounting" Legend, who will arguably fit the expectation of a "younger, hipper, sexier Riddler." Well, I can't wait to hear more! There are some pretty crazy rumors out there. Among the most outrageous: Batman may get a new costume (okay...sure.) Robin may die in this installment (could see that), and the grandaddy of all unlikely rumors: That Anthony Michaels may make a cameo as....wait for it....still....come on now....keep waiting...Oh shit. Oh God no...I think left my cat in the dryer.

Manic Mondays with Richie Deschamps!

Greetings fans! Richie Deschamps here wishing you a happy Monday! Boy, that director's strike is really starting to effect my late night TV viewing. Just last night I was trying to watch Craig Ferguson and something seemed slighty off. His jokes appeared to be somewhat...stale. His mannerisms...just a bit unfunny. And he was speaking in a British accent the whole time, I'm guessing in an attempt to be more funny. Wasn't this guy on Who's Line is it Next? I guess without our beloved directors, all of our favorite late night talk show hosts will bare the brunt. Jim Leno, I'm looking in your direction!

Anyway, it's Monday. You know what that means here at Weakey. Manic Mondays with Richie Deschamps! So let's get right down to it. Here are my 3 favorite movies to watch on a boring, rainy, ugly, stinky, no-good, son-of-a-cow, bastardly, arousing, stupid, dum-dum Monday night. Without further ado:

1) Indiana Jones and the Lost Ark (1933) - If you haven't seen this movie yet, you are a dummy. What planet are you from, Alaska? Anyway, it's a top-rate adventure flick starring the one and only Haroldson Ford as Indiana Jones, a skeptical paleontologist on a mission to find the lost Ark of the Coveted. Don't throw any rubber worms at this doctor, he just ates the damn things!

Classic Line: "Doctor Jones....NO MORE JUMPER SUITS!"

2) Goonies (1982) - The movie that defined my generation's childhood. This flick stars former childhood actors Sean Astin (Lord of the Rings, Ruby), Corey Haim (Stand By Me, License to Wed), and of course, Josh Brolin, of recent No Country for Old People fame. Directed by Richard Lester, this adventurous movie tells the story of 6 close friends on a journey to find a mysterious hidden treasure. Wackiness ensues when the group stumbles upon the Fanelli family, a hideous sloth-like creature named Slug, and, wait for it....a PIRATE SHIP.

Classic Line: "You Goonies are just a buncha Goonies, you stupid dumb Goonies!"

3) Army of Darkness (1988) - This movie is just plain weird, and I'll explain why. Apparently, Sam Raimi thought it would be funny to make a sequel to a movie that never actually existed, just to screw with out heads. The outcome? A fantastically hilarious, disgusting, raunchy, naked, bloody, phlegmy, putrid horror adventure in the name of fun! You can watch this movie a million times and still not get it. Where did Ash come from? Why is he missing his left hand? Since when do skeletons have the ability to walk around without any visible muscles, cartilage or even a working brain? It's just something you have to accept. And accept it you will.

Classic line: "Funky."

Well fans, my hands are tired from all this typing. Time to get back to my shift at Dairy Queen. There's blizzards to be served out there people!

Deschamps...out!!!

Freaky Friday Flix Roundup Weekend DVD PIX Top 5

Hey People-Eaters!

Chad here. Whudup my niggaz? Anyway its friday and if you know anything about ANYTHING you know that at Entertainment Weakey, or EW, Friday means its time for Freaky Friday Flix Roundup Weekend DVD PIX Top 5, selected by none other your favorite brother, Chad Bebay. If you are unfamiliar with this weekly feature its where I pick the 5 best movies to rent from Netflix for the weekend. You can also find this list on my netflix profile at:
www.netflix.com/profiles/strongblackandproud

Anyway, on with the PIX:

5) Back to the Future II (1955) - Better than the first, IMHO, Roger Zemekis nailed it with this one. I remember the wonder this movie inspired within me. From the Hover Blades, to the Flying Lambourghini, to Sports Atlas, this movie was pure Hollywood magic. I hear they are making a 3rd film in which Marcus McFudge and Dr. Emits Brown team up to stop the Nazis from discovering the Temple of the Crystal Skull (with overtones of Roswell-style Ufology rumored to play a small part!)

Favorite Line:
"Not Again!"

4) Top Secret (1988) - Val Kilmer stars as an idiot. The whole movie is a waste of time. Its about a spy or some bullshit. My cousin Jameson wanted me to rent this when he comes to visit, so I am stuck with it.

Favorite Line:
"This Mission has been hereby classified as Top...oh you get the picture!"

3) Monster Squadron (2298) - This movie is a pure classic! I loved it as a kid and it holds up today. Imagine pitting several teenagers against the classic Warner Brothers movie monsters! All your favorites are here: The Blob, Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde, The Invisible Man, Vincent Price, all of 'em!

Favorite Line:
"The Blob has Nuts!"

2) Glenngary Glenn Ross (1994) - The film is denser with each viewing but the central element for me is this: GLENGARRY GLEN ROSS is a film about men. It is a film about men as you have probably not seen them before. What you see is the reason why the men women marry behave differently than women had always expected them to behave them in the home. The world of business teaches men to behave in a certain way.

Favorite Line:
"I'm gonna wipe the floor with Glenn, Gary, and Ross!

And the #1 one Freaky Friday Flix Roundup Weekend DVD pick is:

-Chadley

Some Random Movie News...

Hey fans....Richie Deshamps here. Sorry I don't sound as enthusiastic as I usually do. I just found out that my girlfriend Esmerelda has been cheating on me. I should have known when I couldn't find my copy of Rollerball (1982) last week. Don't even ask...

Anyway, I got some news for you guys, you know, if you feel like reading about it. If not, well...whatever. I heard the new Batman remake is gonna be cool. Um, I think I heard that Iron Men is supposed to suck or something. Let's see, what else, what else. Oh yeah, the new Rambo movie is simply called Rambos now. I guess it involves multiple Rambos kinda like Alien 3 (1872). Eh, that's all I got. Check in tomorrow, maybe I could fill you in on those Terminator remakes or something.

Deschamps...eh, whatever.

Amazing news!

Greetings fans! Richie Deschamps here! I just pooped my panties.

Deschamps...out!!!

Director Strike Cripples Hollywood!!!

Werd Up Peeping Toms! Chadely Q. Bebay here with some sad, sad news:

The entertainment world has been shaken to its very core this week as production halts on many of your favorite shows and movies. The reason? A strike! Following tough negotiations with union Reps, studios have failed to resolve issues with directors, so they went on strike. Thats right, all of your favorite directors are on strike indefinitely. Some familiar faces on the picket line include: George Spielberg, Brett Singer, Michael Bruckheimer, McGilliam, Joel and Ethan Farrelly, Jerry Mann, Sam Rattner, Werner Hitchcock, Ron Hughes, Steven Zombie, JJ Lucas and many others.

That means that production will halt in accordance with union guidelines. Among the movies and TV shows that will suffer: Justice Leagues, Hairy Betty, Samantha Why?, My Name is Ed, Littleville, Transformations 2, Mr. Magoo's Wonderful Poo, Desperate Nasty Old Cunts, Sex and New York City: The Motion Picture, How I Killed Your Mom, CSI: Montana, and many more. Keep your eyes peeled!!!!

-Chadley

Hump Day Classics with Richie Deschamps!

Greetings fans! Richie Deschamps here wishing you a happy hump day! That's right, it's Wednesday, and you know what that means. Hump Day Classics! This is where I pick a movie from my vault of iTunes videos and give you my thoughts on them. Let's not beat around the tree and get right to it. This week: Superman III: The Richard Lester Cut (2003)!

As many of you know, by the time Universal Studios got around to producing the third Superman film, tensions grew between producers and director Ridley Scott (left). Scott was pushing for a family friendly version of the iconic superhero, while Universal were adamant in exploring the darker aspects of the man we know as Kal-Mel. Well, before he could say "Look! Up in the trees!" Scott was fired and replaced by director Richard Lester, famous for his work with Scottish band Pink Floyd. However, a great deal of footage had already been shot by Scott (a reported 2%) and producers had no choice but to use it in the final cut, much to the chagrin of Lester.

Well put down my panties and call me Robert! Thanks to the magic of "re-editing," Lester was granted his wish to release his version of Superman III, the way he originally intended. That's right fans! All those scenes you read about on the internet (including the infamous re-straightening of the Eiffel Tower) are intact, and in glorious color. And the ending? You guessed it. Superman does speed up the rotation of the Earth to successfully travel to the future in order to save Lana Lang's life (in the original version, Lana Lang simply died).

Many aspects are the same, including Richard Pryor's wild pimping antics and the inclusion of superhero baddie Nuclear Man. However, Lex Luthor's role is cut down a bit to the point you keep asking yourself, "When is Lex gonna show up?" Not to mention Anthony Michael Hall's character is just a tad silly to begin with (yawn). Well folks, the newer version seems to be the preferred version among blogsters, and I can't help but agree. That's why I give Superman III: The Richard Lester Cut (2003) a score of 7/11!

Deschamps...out!!!