Manic Mondays with Richie Deschamps!

Greetings fans! Richie Deschamps here wishing you a happy Monday! Boy, that director's strike is really starting to effect my late night TV viewing. Just last night I was trying to watch Craig Ferguson and something seemed slighty off. His jokes appeared to be somewhat...stale. His mannerisms...just a bit unfunny. And he was speaking in a British accent the whole time, I'm guessing in an attempt to be more funny. Wasn't this guy on Who's Line is it Next? I guess without our beloved directors, all of our favorite late night talk show hosts will bare the brunt. Jim Leno, I'm looking in your direction!

Anyway, it's Monday. You know what that means here at Weakey. Manic Mondays with Richie Deschamps! So let's get right down to it. Here are my 3 favorite movies to watch on a boring, rainy, ugly, stinky, no-good, son-of-a-cow, bastardly, arousing, stupid, dum-dum Monday night. Without further ado:

1) Indiana Jones and the Lost Ark (1933) - If you haven't seen this movie yet, you are a dummy. What planet are you from, Alaska? Anyway, it's a top-rate adventure flick starring the one and only Haroldson Ford as Indiana Jones, a skeptical paleontologist on a mission to find the lost Ark of the Coveted. Don't throw any rubber worms at this doctor, he just ates the damn things!

Classic Line: "Doctor Jones....NO MORE JUMPER SUITS!"

2) Goonies (1982) - The movie that defined my generation's childhood. This flick stars former childhood actors Sean Astin (Lord of the Rings, Ruby), Corey Haim (Stand By Me, License to Wed), and of course, Josh Brolin, of recent No Country for Old People fame. Directed by Richard Lester, this adventurous movie tells the story of 6 close friends on a journey to find a mysterious hidden treasure. Wackiness ensues when the group stumbles upon the Fanelli family, a hideous sloth-like creature named Slug, and, wait for it....a PIRATE SHIP.

Classic Line: "You Goonies are just a buncha Goonies, you stupid dumb Goonies!"

3) Army of Darkness (1988) - This movie is just plain weird, and I'll explain why. Apparently, Sam Raimi thought it would be funny to make a sequel to a movie that never actually existed, just to screw with out heads. The outcome? A fantastically hilarious, disgusting, raunchy, naked, bloody, phlegmy, putrid horror adventure in the name of fun! You can watch this movie a million times and still not get it. Where did Ash come from? Why is he missing his left hand? Since when do skeletons have the ability to walk around without any visible muscles, cartilage or even a working brain? It's just something you have to accept. And accept it you will.

Classic line: "Funky."

Well fans, my hands are tired from all this typing. Time to get back to my shift at Dairy Queen. There's blizzards to be served out there people!

Deschamps...out!!!